Conversations with a 2 Year Old

Yesterday I got out some jelly beans to give Thomas four or five as a reward for good behavior. He asked for one. I said sure.

TJ: Can I have two?
Me: Yes, you may have two.
TJ: Can I have 14?
Me: No, you may have five.
TJ: Can I have five and two?
Me: No, but you may have two and three.
TJ (with a big grin as if he'd won the negotiation): OKAY!

I'm in big trouble when he learns how to add.

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Today W, Thomas and I went to story time at the library. One the way home I asked Thomas what he wanted for lunch.

TJ: Taco Bell
Me (upon pulling into the drivethru at Taco Bell): What do you want to eat, Thomas?
TJ: Hambuger. (That's how he says it...ham-buger).
Me: Honey, Taco Bell doesn't sell hamburgers. Would you like some beans instead?
TJ: No, french fries.
Me: Taco Bell doesn't have french fries either. How about we get a hamburger and french fries at Burger King?
TJ (getting frustrated): NO! EAT AT TACO BELL!
Me: Okay, Taco Bell. What do you want to eat? Beans?
TJ (fully frustrated at this point): NO! HAMBUGER! FRENCH FRIES!
Me to W: Daddy, why don't we go to the Taco Bell across the street that sells hamburgers and french fries?

We get to Burger King, now known as Taco Bell with hamburgers, and I silently dare Thomas to say he wants beans. but instead he chants "Eat hambuger. French fries. At Taco Bell." over and over until we get home with our meal. W and I didn't know whether to laugh or throw the kid out of the car.